A fantastic self coaching tool is to know what the basic human needs are as defined in life coaching and to apply it appropriately.
We all have the same needs. The four basic needs are certainty, variety, love and connection and significance. Usually we need these needs met before we can attend to our higher needs of growth and contribution.
In order to have certainty, we need the basic needs of shelter and warmth, air food and water etc. met. Once we are certain that we are covered as far as the needs for survival goes, we usually need some variety, like a welcome break from a strict routine for a night out, practicing an entertaining sport or play a challenging game or go on a holiday. Too much certainty can cause boredom with life and we need variety to spice things up.
On the other hand too much variety can cause overwhelm and even burn out. It leads to a level where we can not function optimally.
We all want to feel love and connected. We are relationship orientated and usually strife for harmony and meaningful relationships between a partner, family, friends, at work, and with society as a whole. When we seek too much love and connection, we can become co-dependent and not function optimally as an individual who develop our own identity to fulfill our own unique life purpose. We all know that person who put someone on a pedestal and makes them the center of their life and then neglect their own development in the process.
We all want to feel significant in our own way. We want appreciation and acknowledgement and this need helps us to develop our own unique genius and excellence and talents and gifts.
Unfortunately to much significance creates the opposite of love and connection and we can loose touch in relationships and become disconnected from society. A lot of famous people can not handle their fame and try too numb their isolation and “otherness” with drugs etc.
When all our basic needs are met, we usually yearn for growth and to make a contribution in life. These are our two higher needs.
When you have your four basic needs met and you balance them well- just enough variety to break the boredom of certainty; just enough love and connection to still feel significant as an individual, we are normally well functioning members of society and desire to grow our identities and to make a meaningful impact on our world and the people around us.
So how is knowing what our needs are, useful?
When you can identify an unfulfilled need in a certain life area, you can go and look at other areas in your life where what you are missing in that area is already there. For instance: You feel you need more money to feel more significant. explore your other life areas and you might find that you are very significant to appreciative children or employees or the homeless guy on the corner. You might feel your body appreciates how well you feed it and keeps it fit in your health area.
Once you have identified where the need you feel you need more of , is already fulfilled, you can address the “problem area” with a feeling of abundance and not lack. You can use your life areas of plenty to provide evidence that you can prosper in this area too. Now that you know your need has been fulfilled in other areas, you can make a decision to take the appropriate action to also experience this need met in the desired area.
For instance, you can say: “I am significant to my body and my family and thus valued enough by others and myself to create more significance in my financial area. I am valuable enough to ask for a raise at work because I have the evidence to show my boss that my work is worth the increase I desire” (Make sure that this is true- other wise first put in the spade work to make this true). Or :I can charge more for my services because I know the service I provide is worth X amount.” Or: “I can examine my spending habits and see where I can save in order to create abundance in another area.” For instance: “I can make more home cooked meals from whole foods and save the money I would have spend on take-out meals to start a savings account which gets interest to create more abundance and significance in my finances.”
See how easy it is to “self coach” and balance your life areas?
Come on- take action today to prosper in the life area you want more of a certain need met!