One of our members mentioned trapped emotions. Lets talk about this. We know that any event is neutral and it is our response to it that determines the outcome. We determine how we feel about any event in our lives.
Responsibility is taking appropriate action in any situation instead of being reactive. But it does not mean that we don’t feel things or should not feel the emotions we feel. We tend to brush our emotions under the rug and most of us were taught to be stoic.
What action should we take about this? In my opinion we should acknowledge our emotions and allow ourselves to feel them fully. I always suggest that people journal about there emotions. if you can identify the emotions you can own and control them.
Once you have identified how you feel and identified the emotion, you can ask yourself the seven “why” questions because this helps you get yourself “out of your head” and “into your heart”, for instance: ” I feel shame because I have debt”- question 1 : ” why do I feel shame?” Answer: Because having debt makes me feel that I do not have control over my life.”
Question 2: “Why don’t I feel that I have control over my life?” Answer: “Because owing money makes me feel insecure”.
Question3: “Why do you feel insecure?” Because I want to be successful in life.”
Question 4: “Why do you want to be successful in life?” Because I want to give my children the best in life which I never had as a child”.
Question 5: “Why do you want to give your child the best in life?” Because I want to show them how much I love them”.
Question 6: Why do you want to show them that you love them?” Because I want to matter in their lives.”
Question 7: “Why do you want to matter in their lives?” Answer: “Because I want to feel valued”.
Now that you got to the crux of the matter,you can go and look at other life areas in which you already feel valued, for instance, you feel valued in your marriage because you have a wonderful relationship with your partner, or you feel valued at work because you have been nominated the second time in a row as employee of the month. (For everybody there will be different answers to the same questions because we are all unique.)
Now that you have reinforced this positive feeling, you can start taking appropriate action steps to deal with the practicalities of eradicating debt from your life. For instance, read a book on it by someone who successfully got themselves out of debt and make the decision to follow their advice to break out of the limiting thinking patterns and beliefs that keep you in debt. Please feel free to share your input on this topic.