All of us at some stage experience a setback. Be it a failed relationship, being made redundant or loose a job, succumbing to an addiction or falling back into a bad habit or lifestyle.
Life happens. People we love die, nature wrecks havoc by disasters and illness. The economy nose dives, the politics go pear shaped…The good news is that no matter how dire circumstances might seem, as long as you are alive there is always possibility for things to be turned around and in the right direction. For life to get better.
The first very important thing to do is to forgive yourself and start regarding whatever disaster happened objectively. Yes their might be consequences from bad choices and circumstances, but you are able to overcome anything. It does not help to keep on playing the same pictures over and over in your mind, to beat yourself up and to stay in the unproductive and soul destroying circle of self loathing and trapped in the swamp of low vibration energy of negative feelings and emotions.
So you got hopelessly drunk at your posh friend’s 50th after a year of blissful sobriety and feels embarrassment, guilt anger and shame. You lost a loved one when your house burnt down and you have survivor’s guilt. The job you only started in last year has a “last in first out” policy and you just experienced being fired because they are cutting personnel. You fail your driver’s license for the umpteenth time. You have to give up your farm because of the drought in the area.
A quick way to start getting yourself out of the cesspool of emotions that engulfs you, is to quickly write down at least five positive things that can come out of this situation:Let’s take the drunk scenario at the 50th as an example:
5) Today is a new day to start sobriety where you left off. It was just a once -off slip up. You have been sober for 365 days versus one.
Still an overwhelmingly positive score in favor of maintaining your new habit.These positives will act as the instigators for taking the action needed for repairing your life and getting back on track.The only way after any setback in your life is forward and onward. No turning back.
If you keep on looking back and keep the negative experience alive by mauling pictures over in your mind, you will get stuck and backslide even further.
You don’t have to be in denial about what happened. It is good to look at the situation realistically and count the cost, assess the damage and identify and own the emotions you responded with to the event.But view it the way an assessor will to assess the damage to see what needs to be worked on, replaced, learned anew, what the appropriate action is to rectify and reset your direction in life.
Once you have an assessment of what needs to be done, you can set the restoration plan in motion. One step at a time.This time you have the added benefits of lessons learned and experiences gained to guide you in the right direction to live your best life again.Be thankful for the regression, develop an attitude of gratitude and see how much your blessings outweigh your tragedy.
Be thankful for the balance and perspective it brought to your life.Remember, taking responsibility for your state, focus, emotions, the language you use (inside and out loud) , your physical posture and your actions and thoughts, will determine your progress to the right path.If all else are taken away, you still have your attitude.
Your attitude, it is said, determines your altitude.Three simple actions if taken in combination and consistently, has been proven to get you out of the lows and into the highs in a relatively short period of time:
1)Do exercise everyday.
2)Laugh for at least 20 minutes (Think a good comedy, kids in the playground, dogs in the park etc.) daily.
3) Put colored post- it notes all around the environment you use everyday. When you see one, think about a good experience that happened to you in your life.
Very basic but scientifically proven to be very effective.It is the small things that repeatedly done win the race.Go out and reset your road to victory.